On Having Kids

I don't know if I will have any children.  I don't know if I'll ever meet someone to have children with.  I have been very fortunate to have been in serious, passionate, loving relationships with girls who loved me as much as I loved them, but I don't know if that will ever happen again.  For now, I like to think that my songs are my children. 
I'm having a hard time finishing up my most recent collection of songs that I plan to release as my second EP. 
It's partially my computer lagging due to the large amount of tracks I have on most songs, or too many instruments, I don't know what to EQ certain things.  I can't "see" the music like I used to with these speakers, they are worn out and the fact that I am not using DXM anymore has affected my brain and creativity, as well as my drive to write and record and finish songs. 
I basically have to re-learn how to make music on an emotional level.  I know how to do it, but it's completely different when you are sober.  It's very strange.  I also need a change of scenery, I cannot be recording music over years and years in he same exact room in the same setup, same desk, same everything.  I need a new set up and new speakers.  I need a producer or an engineer, that would be nice, but I am on my own with this project.