Worst Years of My Life, Dropping Out of College, Heartbreak

I am still a little boy who wants his mommy

I failed the first algebra class in college, not to make excuses but I had a female Chinese teacher and I couldn't understand her and I also hated algebra with a passion.I eventually just stopped going to class and only showed up on exam days and failed the class

I still regret that and lose sleep over it, cos that was the beginning of the end for that first attempt at school..i breezed through the first semester, got all A's and then the 2nd semester I started getting real lazy

then I went back and re-took the class and took an early, 8 AM class, and I worked close with my teacher (she was Indian but spoke better English) and I passed with a C+

THEN i went into pre-calc and that's when I kinda lost interest in college altogether, i was really frustrated and discouraged. I was going A's in English and Speech and International Relations and Astronomy but i couldn't pass that one required class i had

worst mistake of my life, education/academic wise...ultimately i quit the 3rd semester for a girl. Was that worth it? I still don't know

we had an amazing relationship and i was never as happy as i was with her, maybe when i was a little kid, but otherwise, no way. i don't know if it's possible to ever be that happy again. and after a few years we broke up and that's when i started using drugs. idk why i threw all that in there, but it all happened at the same time, between 2006-2009, in that order. so you just learned some real personal shit about me that idk if you knew already

it was cos i was in love or extremely infatuated, i think both, i definitely loved that girl and still do, and still dream about her every week, sometimes more than once a week. we're still friends, distant friends but we'll always be close no matter how much time goes by cos we had been friends since middle school before we ever dated

1:25am

its been 7 years since we broke up and i'm still not 100% normal as a result

and i know it fucked her up big time too, she started doing drugs too after that

i should have just waited another year and a half and gotten my associates degree to shut my mom up and then i would've gotten her anyway

but ill go back to school soon, sooner than everyone will think, and i'll prevail

while having the biggest year for me as a solo artist/Relic Radiation

i just have a positive feeling about 2015. I know it doesn't mean shit now that the "year" has a different number at the end of it, but its a psychological approach I'm taking. Everyone else is acting like this a new time, so I'll play along and take that stance as well and use it to my advantage, and give me the feeling of an opportunity for a "fresh" start because as I've said many times already, probably not to you, but 2014 was the worst year of my life, since 2001-02 and then 2005

those were all my worst years

emotionally...so far.  But 2015 will not be one of them.  It will be looked back up on a year of fewer regrets than anyone in my faily is used to, and many steps taken forward in the right direction towards my ultimate goals and personal success.